Posts Tagged ‘Quick Takes’

Seven Quack Takes

First off, thanks to the hilarious and possibly my favorite blogger Grace at Camppatton for the shoutout today! I opened my Google reader this morning and was like, “Um, how did I get so many hits? OH NO WORDPRESS GOT HACKED!!!!!” Nope, just mentioned by the popular Mrs. Patton. Thanks, Grace! For more Quick Takes, visit her today.


Let’s talk about ducks. These dudes have been lounging around the church lot where my office parks. Every morning, two or three handsome mallards are chilling out under trees. Not sure why they are there since St. Mary’s is not a marshy swamp. Perhaps their moms told them the nice girls go to church?


“I have seen zero cute chicks at this church. Mom is such a liar…”


Still more ducks … Did you know that ducks can yawn? See photo below. I know it looks like he is merely quacking but I assure you that his head was tucked under his wingpit when he opened up his eyes and let out a wide-beaked yawn. I couldn’t help talking to the duck. “Ohhh, you are so cute! Look at you, all sleepy! You are sooooo beautiful.” At which point, I lifted my head and beheld a young, handsome man giving me an odd, judging look, prompting me to lamely point out to him that, “Look, it’s a duck.” How am I still single?


He’s not saying “AFLAC.” He’s yawning!


Speaking of ducks, how can people think that “crispy-fried duck” sounds delicious? The first image that pops into my head is an exhausted, water-logged fowl perching on the hot engine of a motor boat to rest his wings and getting electrocuted.


While on the topic of animals, I really want a dog. I don’t want a yippy, peppy little lapdog. I regard them in the same light as I regarded cheerleaders as a teenager. We are not of the same world. But I don’t know what sort of dog befits me. A regal Great Dane? The noble German Shepherd? A lovable, wavy-haired Golden Retriever? The loyal and strong Black Lab? The tenacious and go-getter Bulldog?  A ragged, lazy junkyard mutt with seven heritages and a half-ass tail? Could be getting closer…


What if one of my future daughters wants to be a cheerleader?


What if one of my future sons wants to play badminton?


Guess the only way to alleviate these fears is Thai for lunch. Happy Friday!!


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